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موضوع: Astronomical Jokes

  1. Top | #1
    کاربر ممتاز

    عنوان کاربر
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    تاریخ عضویت
    Nov 2010
    شماره عضویت
    360
    نوشته ها
    152
    تشکر
    1,268
    تشکر شده 611 بار در 86 ارسال

    Astronomical Jokes

    !!!!!!!!!!!!!Greetings Everyone
    Funny Astronomy Jokes go here

    Here is a place where you can post ur Jokes around Astronomy

    : Guidlines

    :There are, however, some things that even here we cannot permit
    .Absolutely no Politics from any nation, nor religion of any kind, no exceptions
    .No posts intended to deliberately create a reaction
    .Do not use offensive words

    Thank you in advance for your co operation and enjoy yourselves
    امضای ایشان
    !Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else


  2. 13 کاربر مقابل از planetstruck عزیز به خاطر این پست مفید تشکر کرده اند.


  3. Top | #2
    کاربر ممتاز

    عنوان کاربر
    کاربر ممتاز
    تاریخ عضویت
    Nov 2010
    شماره عضویت
    360
    نوشته ها
    152
    تشکر
    1,268
    تشکر شده 611 بار در 86 ارسال

    !!!!!!!!!!!!!Hi there
    I have an astronomy joke 4 u

    When NASA was preparing for the Apollo Project, it took the astronauts to a Navajo reservation in Arizona for training

    One day, a Navajo elder and his son came across the space crew walking among the rocks

    The elder, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question

    ?His son translated for the NASA people: "What are these guys in the big suits doing

    One of the astronauts said that they were practicing for a trip to the moon

    When his son relayed this comment the Navajo elder got all excited and asked if it would be possible to give
    to the astronauts a message to deliver to the moon

    Recognizing a promotional opportunity when he saw one, a NASA official accompanying the astronauts
    said, "Why certainly!" and told an underling to get a tape recorder

    The Navajo elder's comments into the microphone were brief. The NASA official asked the son if he would translate what his father had said

    The son listened to the recording and laughed uproariously. But he refused to translate. So the NASA people took the tape to a nearby Navajo village and played it for other members of the tribe. They too laughed long and loudly but also refused to translate the elder's message to the moon.

    Finally, an official government translator was summoned. After he finally stopped laughing
    the translator relayed the message:

    "Watch out for these people. They have come to steal your land."

    امضای ایشان
    !Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else


  4. 8 کاربر مقابل از planetstruck عزیز به خاطر این پست مفید تشکر کرده اند.


  5. Top | #3
    کاربر ممتاز

    عنوان کاربر
    کاربر ممتاز
    تاریخ عضویت
    Nov 2010
    شماره عضویت
    360
    نوشته ها
    152
    تشکر
    1,268
    تشکر شده 611 بار در 86 ارسال

    The Three Scientists

    3scientists happen to meet each other by chance at a party.They boast their country's science achievements (their nations are omitted

    .The first one says: We were the 1st ones in space
    .The second one says: we were the 1st to go to moon
    .The third one thinks hard and says: we will be 1st ones on the sun
    Both the first & second persons start laughing, and say to the third one. You crazy! The sun is too hot! Your spaceship will burn before it reaches the sun
    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!The third scientist remains cool and calm, and says: You are crazy. We will go there at night
    ویرایش توسط planetstruck : 01-30-2011 در ساعت 04:33 PM
    امضای ایشان
    !Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else


  6. 8 کاربر مقابل از planetstruck عزیز به خاطر این پست مفید تشکر کرده اند.


  7. Top | #4
    کاربر ممتاز

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    کاربر ممتاز
    تاریخ عضویت
    Nov 2010
    شماره عضویت
    360
    نوشته ها
    152
    تشکر
    1,268
    تشکر شده 611 بار در 86 ارسال

    An astronomer is on an expedition to Africa to observe a total eclipse of the sun, which will only be observable there, when he's captured by cannibals. The eclipse is due the next day around noon. To gain his freedom he plans to pose as a god and threaten to extinguish the sun if he's not released, but the timing has to be just right. So, in the few words of the cannibals' tongue that he knows, he asks his guard what time they plan to kill him
    The guard answers, "Tradition has it that captives are to be killed when the sun reaches the highest point in the sky on the day after their capture so that they may be cooked and ready to be served for the evening meal"
    "reat", the astronomer replies
    The guard continues, "But because everyone's so excited about it, in your case we're going to wait until after the eclipse "

    امضای ایشان
    !Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else


  8. 9 کاربر مقابل از planetstruck عزیز به خاطر این پست مفید تشکر کرده اند.


  9. Top | #5
    کاربر ممتاز

    عنوان کاربر
    کاربر ممتاز
    تاریخ عضویت
    Nov 2010
    شماره عضویت
    360
    نوشته ها
    152
    تشکر
    1,268
    تشکر شده 611 بار در 86 ارسال


    ?Q: How does the Man in the Moon cut his hair

    .
    .A:Eclipse it


    ?Q:How do we know that Saturn married than once
    .A:Because he has a lot of rings
    امضای ایشان
    !Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else


  10. 9 کاربر مقابل از planetstruck عزیز به خاطر این پست مفید تشکر کرده اند.


  11. Top | #6
    کاربر ممتاز

    عنوان کاربر
    کاربر ممتاز
    تاریخ عضویت
    Nov 2010
    شماره عضویت
    360
    نوشته ها
    152
    تشکر
    1,268
    تشکر شده 611 بار در 86 ارسال


    ?Q: Which is more useful, the Sun or the Moon

    A: A thirteen-year old: [Pause] "I think it's the Moon because the moon shines at night when you want the light, whereas the Sun shines during the day when you don't need it

    امضای ایشان
    !Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else


  12. 11 کاربر مقابل از planetstruck عزیز به خاطر این پست مفید تشکر کرده اند.


  13. Top | #7
    کاربر ممتاز

    عنوان کاربر
    کاربر ممتاز
    تاریخ عضویت
    Nov 2010
    شماره عضویت
    360
    نوشته ها
    152
    تشکر
    1,268
    تشکر شده 611 بار در 86 ارسال

    Out On A Camp

    Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal, they lay down for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend & said:" Watson,look up at the sky and tell me what you see

    Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars
    " ?What does that tell you"
    !Watson pondered for a minute

    Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets

    .Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo

    .Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three

    .Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant

    .Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow

    "?Why,What does it tell YOU"

    .Holmes was silent for a minute, and then spoke
    Watson, you foolish. Some idiot has stolen our tent."

    امضای ایشان
    !Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else


  14. 6 کاربر مقابل از planetstruck عزیز به خاطر این پست مفید تشکر کرده اند.


  15. Top | #8
    کاربر جدید

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    تاریخ عضویت
    May 2013
    شماره عضویت
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    نوشته ها
    13
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    6
    تشکر شده 86 بار در 13 ارسال

    Astronomical Jokes         
    .Why couldn’t the astronaut book a room on the moon? Because it was full

    . How do astronauts serve dinner? On flying saucers

    .When people run round in circles we say they’re crazy. When planets do it, we say they’re orbiting

    .When do astronauts eat their lunch? At launch time

    Why does NASA believe there might be life on Mars? The CD player was stolen from their Mars rover.

    Star light, star bright
    First star I see tonight
    I wish I may, I wish I might
    Oh wait, it's just a satellite

    .How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb? None, astronomers aren't scared of the dark

    .How far can you see on a clear day? 150 million kilometres, from here to the Sun

    .While living on Earth might be a little expensive, at least you get a free trip around the Sun every year

    .What do you think of that new restaurant on the moon? The food’s great but it has no atmosphere
    امضای ایشان
    این نشانه ی کم ارزش و دون بودن اندیشه ی یک انسان است که سعی در همفکری با اکثریت دارد. تنها از این جهت که اکثریت است .
    اما حقیقت تغییر نمی کند...چه اکثریت مردم آن را باور داشته باشند چه باور نداشته باشند.

    "
    جوردانو برونو"

  16. 4 کاربر مقابل از الیزابت عزیز به خاطر این پست مفید تشکر کرده اند.


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